It’s occurred to me lately that many people, including myself, at least on occasion react on assumptions instead of on what is.  When we react or act on assumptions we usually find ourselves in a not so good feeling place.  We also tend to amplify the situations by adding on our own beliefs and emotions to what we assume to be true.  This then builds the “story” up which only amps up our not so good feelings.  I rarely see people do this with the good stuff, and when they do they tell themselves it can’t be so they let it go along with all the good emotions and beliefs around it.  What should we do instead?  We should stop ourselves from going with the assumption and take a moment to check in on what is really going on.   Find the facts and work with those.  Ask yourself how you can improve the situation, or what you can do to change the situation to something better.

We also need to learn to let go of the amped up emotions around these situations.  We tend to work ourselves into an emotional frenzy, building up anxiety and fear.  When we take a moment to check in with what is really going on we can more easily let go of the emotions we’re feeling about in the situation.  This enables us to deal with the facts, with what is, and move forward to make the situation better.  We’re also able to be more objective when we take the emotion and sometimes the person or people out of the situations.

I remember when I worked in management and one thing I was taught was to focus on the situation not on the person.  This allowed me to approach the situations from an objective perspective and make decisions that were in line with the company’s mission and goals rather than on the individual.  Most of the time I found that the decision I made was good for the individual too.   That was good, sound advice that I have been able to carry over into my personal life. 

I admit that on occasion I make assumptions and get carried away with it.  When I find myself acting on assumptions I stop, take a deep breath, and ask myself what is really going on.  I look at the facts and decide if I need more information.  If I do need more information I go get it before I act.  When I do act it’s with all the information and based on what is, not what I assume it to be.  I feel much better, am able to find solutions if needed, and improve the situation. 

I hope this will help you the next time you find yourself acting or reacting on an assumption.  Remember the saying: assume makes an ass out of you and me.